


A Truth Middle-Earthly Acknowledged

by Embli



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: (of a non-human but you get the point), Adoption, Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, M/M, Middle Earth, Thorin Is an Idiot, brief dehumanization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8870275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Embli/pseuds/Embli
Summary: There are Dwarves coming to the dance.Some of them are better than others at making first impressions.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Omnomnomnivore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnomnomnivore/gifts).



> This is a birthday present for my best friend, combining two of our fandoms. Once I thought of it, I figured Thorin makes a pretty perfect Mr. Darcy.  
> Happy birthday, J!

Some people might say that Lobelia and Otho Sackville-Baggins were gready and took in their orphaned cousin Bilbo more because they wanted his smial than out of any love for the boy. Those people may have a very good point. But while it's easy to paint the Sackville-Bagginses in black and white, they were always rather gray Hobbits.

They wanted Bag End, yes. The smial, the silver spoons and other riches. And sometimes they dotted on their son Lotho in a way they didn't Bilbo. But they did adopt him and care for him. They put food on the table, made sure he brushed his feet and they kept an eye out for any potential spouses. Especially the rich ones.

"There will be Dwarves coming to the dance," Lobelia informed the family at the breakfast table.

"Dwarves?" Otho grumbled. "They might not be as bad as the Big Folk, but they are still outsiders. What could they possibley want in our Shire?"

"Nevermind that! Dwarves have _gold_ , everyone knows that. And everyone also knows that Hobbits get married and have children, so it stands to reason..." She trailed off meaningfully and looked at Lotho and Bilbo, who both froze with buttered bread halfway to their mouths.

"But people say there are no Dwarf women," Otho pointed out. "And we have no daughters, so children would be quite a stretch."

"There is always adoption." Now, Lobelia was perhaps not the world's most shining example of an adopted mother, but it was true that Hobbits who picked a parter of the same sex often adopted children. And after the Fell Winter many of the surviving families had taken in orphans, so the thought wasn't unusual. "Besides, the Dwarves must be getting their faunts one way or another. Maybe they breath life into stone."

Bilbo rolled his eyes. That sounded like a ridiculus story. And even if it was somehow true, that would mean all Dwarves were essencially living pieces of rock. If Bilbo were to get married, he wanted it to be because of love. Rocks didn't have the most romantic potential. Besides, he had always figured he would never find the right person. Other young Hobbits seemed to fall in love left and right - and in lust even more often - but Bilbo had never been particularly attracted to anyone. He figured he would be Uncle Bilbo who spoiled Lotho's children one day and that that would be enough.

"Lotho, Bilbo, darlings. All you have to do is go to the dance and charm a Dwarf each before they all get snatched up..."

Unlikely, Bilbo thought. Lobelia might like the thought of gold enough not to care that the Dwarves were outsiders, didn't know proper courting rituals, but the other mothers in Hobbiton would have more common priorities.

"Oakenshield especially. Mrs. Chubb says he's a Prince!"

Bilbo took another bite of bread. What use did Hobbits have of Royalty? The Dwarves would come to the dance (probably be rude like all outsiders) and then they would leave. Lobelia would forget all about them within the month, Bilbo was sure of it. 

 

 

By the time the Bywater Ball rolled around, half the Shire was obsessed with the Dwarves. They stayed at the Green Dragon, had strange clothes and beards and spoke with forreign accents, the gossip reported. Lobelia had followed the gossip carefully and gone to the Green Dragon twice to spy on the guests.

There were five Dwarves. Dwalin, who carried _weapons_ and had terrified everyone at first, but seemed to possibly be a nice sort. Balin, who was the one who paid and seemed to be the oldest. Dori, who was very polite (if somewhat stiff) and Bombur. Everyone liked Bombur the most, because he loudly complimented the inn's food and was strikingly attractive, despite the beard.

And then there was Thorin Oakenshield. Possible Prince.

He stayed in his room at all times. Hardly anyone had seen him. One day Lobelia had come home stomping her feet and hissing angrily that there was a rumor Oakenshield might not even attend the dance.

But when the big day arrive, so did the Dwarves. Every last one of them, even if Oakenshield was nearly an hour late.

By then even Bilbo was curious.

Lotho had danced with Bombur once and Dori twice. Lobelia shifted by the second from pride to nagging Bilbo that he should try as well.

And then Thorin Oakenshield stepped into the hall.

Everyone close to the doors turned and stared at him. (Well, for a second. When he glared angryily they suddenly became very interested in their conversations and mugs, but still snook glances his way.) Oakenshield marched over to Dwalin and Balin, looking like a stormcloud. He hadn't removed his hood or boots.

"Go talk to him," Lobelia insisted, loudly enough Bilbo worried Oakenshield might hear her across the room. "Ask him to dance!"

"He doesn't _want_ to dance." Bilbo might not be a mind-reader, but Oakenshield seemed like he'd rather eat the sword (yes, a _sword_ ) that hung by his side. Lobelia pushed Bilbo in the Dwarves' direction, and Bilbo went. More to get away from his mother's demands than any plans to actually talk to Oakenshield. Bilbo figured he would simply walk past them to the buffet table.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lotho and Dori step onto the dance floor once more.

Oakenshield had clearly seen it too. He glared at them and when Bilbo passed, he heard him ask his companions:

"What is he _doing?_ "

"Enjoying the feast, I gather," Balin said. "Besides, you know Dori is a gentledwarf, in maners if not by birth. He would never turn anyone who asked for a dance away."

"But that _thing_ isn't even a Dwarf!"

Bilbo froze, for just a second. He _wanted_ to turn around a punch Oakenshield in his princly face. It was a strange urge, for a Hobbit who had never been drawn to violence before. Then again, this was the first time anyone had refered to his brother as a thing. Bilbo clenched his teeth and forced himself to keep moving. He got to the buffet and instinctivly grabbed a candy apple. Then he remained were he was without lifting the apple to his mouth. Even over the music and other conversations, he still heard Oakenshield complain about Lotho's hairless cheeks and big feet. All Hobbits were greedy and ugly and stupid, apparently. And rude. _Rude!_ This comming from the greatest brute in the Shire!

"Come now, Thorin," Balin admonished. "It's just a different culture. I really thought my lessons in diplomancy and respect had made more of an impression on you."

The third Dwarf, Dwalin, snorted. Bilbo kind of wanted to do the same. Respect was clearly a forrain word for Oakenshield.

"You should really interact with people," Balin plowed on. "Or maybe a dance. You wouldn't need to talk then and the steps seems very easy to manage."

"And _who_ in this _attrocious herd_ do you sudject I ask?" Oakenshield demanded, poison dripping from each word. The group was silent for a while.

"That one," Dwalin suddenly said, probably pointing. Bilbo glared at his candy apple. "With the curls and the green and gold jacket. He's your type."

Nearly every Hobbit in the hall (or in general, for that matter) had curly hair. But Bilbo himself did wear a green jacket with gold embroidered flowers and trims. He wanted to look around and see if anyone else wore something similar, but kept his eyes on the apple.

"He is not!" _No, he wouldn't be, would he? Since all Hobbits are ugly and all._

"Thorin, he is just li..."

"He's not horrible, compaired to the rest of them," Oakenshield interupted. Charming. Bilbo straightened his back, turned and walked back the way he came. The Dwarves went quiet. Maybe they realized he had heard them, or maybe they just didn't have anything more to say. Bilbo didn't look their way. (He also didn't see any green and gold jackets.)

Lobelia rushed over to him as he reached the far wall.

"Why didn't you _talk_ to him?!"

Bilbo gave her the candy apple and relaid everything he had heard. Lobelia's face grew darker and darker and by the end Otho had to hold her back so she wouldn't go over there and start hitting Oakenshield with her umbrella. Bilbo would have gladly let her go.

"I think we better turn home," Otho said, when his wife was started to calm down. "It's getting late and we have a way back to Hobbiton."

"Yes," Lobelia sniffed. "We are leaving this establishment that let in people like that. Dwarves are barbarians, I always said. Lotho!" And she marched onto the dance floor, grabbed Lotho and pulled him away from his partner. Both looked confused.

"We are _leaving!_ " Lobelia repeated, screaching high enough for everyone around to hear. Bilbo felt his face burn. He hated it when his mother made a scene, even if it was in defense of him and Lotho. Maybe especially then. It was nice that she cared, but they were adults and could defend themselves.

People stared as the Sackville-Bagginses left the hall, Lobelia ranting about how _some people didn't have any manners_ and angrily waving a candy apple around.

She kept it up all the way home. Dwarves were harrowing and not to be trusted, especially Oakenshield.

"And you are not seeing that Dori fellow again!" she insisted, and Lotho nodded even as he looked disapointed. And maybe Bilbo should feel a bit bad about that. Dori hadn't done anything wrong and Lotho seemed to have enjoyed his company... But the Dwarves would be gone soon. Even if it turned out Dori was good, and not just dancing with Lotho out of social obligation and then critizing his big feet behind his back, he would leave. It was better this way. Better that Lotho danced with Hobbit lads and lasses, looked into relationships that could actually go anywhere. Clearly things between a Hobbit and a Dwarf could never work.


End file.
